When we are children, we are told to do the “Best We Can”, and as a small child it makes sense.
Why?
Because as children we need to learn to give it our “Best”. The attitude and learning persistance is what is important.
As an adult, “Doing The Best We Can” makes no sense.
Why?
Because, as an adult, the world only cares about success. You should only care about success.
Success is personal. Success means reaching the goals you set for yourself. You meet these goals, you are successful, if you don’t you have failed.
I am positive in every sport at the Olympics, the person who came in Fourth, “Did The Best They Could”.
They care, their mother cares, their family cares, does anybody else?
Does the person who came in fourth get a multi-million dollar promotion contract? Nope.
Once we recognise that “Doing The Best I Can” is an excuse for failure, we have become adults.
The reality is that sayin “Doing The Best I Can” removes our personal responsibility for success and failure.
Why doesn’t “Doing The Best I Can” count – many reasons, but the most important one is that its not measurable.How do you know you are really “Trying Your Best?”. You can’t, you don’t know if there is just a little bit more you could have done. And maybe that little bit more would have made a difference in your success or failure.
Now that I have ruined the best excuse we have, what should we do?
What should we replace “Doing The Best I Can” with?
Here is my seven step solution:
- Take full and complete responsibility for your success or failure.
- Make, or buy, or somehow create a plan to get you to your goal.
- Make sure the plan is reasonable. Vet it with somebody who has acheived the same or a similiar goal.
- Make sure the plan starts slow and grows with little successes.
- Make sure your plan has measurable tangible milestones.
- Understand things won’t work out as you expect, until you start, there are limits to everything, during the plan execution you will find them. This is normal, this is healthy, this is Gd’s way of helping you.
- When you hit a challenge, find people who have had the same challenge. Get their help. Never ever ask for general help, ask for help when you have reached a challenge, be as specific to the problem you can, tell them everything you have done, everything thing you have tried to do to overcome the problem, then ask politely for suggestions. Then try their suggestions and report back to them.
Let me give you an example from my life.
As you (probably) know I am a marathon runner. Until several months ago, I was a “Back of the pack” runner.
A while back I decided I want to dance at my grand children’s weddings. My youngest is 13 years old, so you can image how old I need to be. I then figured out I need to live to 105 years old.
Which sounds pretty stupid and pretty arrogant. But, I come from a family that generally lives into their late eights or nineties, so it is possible, but not probable.
But, I will only live that long, if I put a plan into place that will keep me healthy.
Regular and continous runningof marathons is my core plan to remain healthy. I plan on running the top 100 marathons in the world. That way I will see the top 100 cities in the world.
By the way, there are thousands of people who are doing this.
The core is the philosophy that training is always better than exercising. The difference between the two is simple, training is focused on a goal, exercising is doing something without a goal. The difference is why people lose weight and then gain it back. When they had the goal of losing weight, they worked towards it. When they reached their goal, they also lose the motivation.
My first big marathon is qualifying and running in the Boston Marathon in 2011. To enter most Marathon’s all you need is 75 bucks. Boston is different, you need to run a timed Marathon with a certain length of time. For my age, for me to get a spot at Boston requires me to run a full a marathon in 3 hours and 30 minutes.
Today, I can run a marathon in under 5 hours.
That means I need to reduce my time by 1 and 1/2 hours.
Doing the best I can will not get me to Boston.
Let me tell you what I am doing to get to Boston.
When I started running several years ago, my plan was simple, run long and fast as I could.
That got me no where, except tired. Obviously there was a vast improvement at the beginning, but then I plateaued.
Now I follow the Running Room plans . They have plans for 6 hour marathons, 5:45 marathons, 5:00 marathons, all the way down to 3:00 marathons. These are tested plans.
(This isn’t a sales pitch the plans are free in any Running Room store, just ask the clerk to print you out one.)
There is the plan I am following. I am currently doing the 4 1/2 one. Then I will do the 4:00 one, then the 3 1/2 hour one.
Its a tested plan that I am following.
In any event, I am following the plan, and guess what – I am doing better and better every week.
But, I have challenges – the biggest is that my legs cramp up at around 30 KM. The RR plan doesn’t take that into account. Its a challenge I need to overcome. I will create a plan and do it.
To drop my time, besides the running, I need to lose weight. The extra weight is like caring a loaded backpack around. Another challenge I need to overcome. I will create a plan and do it.
I need to improve my form. I have discovered that I go faster at the same heart rate when my form is proper. Its hard to change your running form. Its another challenge that I need to overcome. I will create a plan and do it.
I will run in Boston, the only challenge is will I make it 2011. I have a plan and the plan says I can do it. However, some things are out of my control. I can only push my body so much or so fast. The body needs time to adapt and develop.
However, with a plan, I can measure my progress and today 2011 is still reasonable. If I don’t follow the plan, I won’t make Boston. And that will effect my plan for 105. If I can’t keep upto the plan, I can reset my goal date. I will still make my goal.
You can do the same.
You can do what ever you want in life, set it as a goal and follow my seven step plan.
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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
Sorry Zale, can’t agree with your position, at least not entirely. I believe that goal setting it a very useful tool… as long as 1) it is vetted by someone who knows your capacity; 2) the growth plan allows for interim performances; 3) when one fails, one doesn’t miss the fact that there has been improvement and an opportunity to reset either the goal or the timing of the goal.
It seems sometimes goals are set that are achievable… but don’t stretch the individual. Realistic goal setting with a peer, manager, loved on allows growth… unrealistic goal setting by companies, unknowing managers and self can often be the source of frustration and painful failure.
On the other hand… not setting goals is, perhaps, a reflection of not having a vision of one’s potential. Living in an existence of “good enough” is the enemy of one that is “better”. And setting goals “to do better” is the enemy of doing one’s “best”.
I really appreciate you challenging the members of the Canadian Group to discussion… I am somewhat disappointed that more are not participating in meaningful discussion/debate…