Welcome to another article in the Success Story series. The Success Stories series provides answers to some of the questions about what it takes to become successful. While each of us is unique in our goals and aspirations, we have things in common with others. By consulting my LinkedIn network of over 9,000,000 people, I believe I can find ideas and solutions that may help you achieve some of your goals. While I may not agree with all of the comments below, I include each and everyone that is presented coherently and may help one of my readers.
The questions have been slightly edited for grammar and presentation. Comments and Kudos, while appreciated, have been edited out.
George Lucas and his story about creating American Graffiti is an amazing story. I have republished it with my comments here.
Personally my approach is to keep saying to myself over and over again.
“I will get through this. This will end. Life will be great. I just need to …..”
I thought I would ask my What do you do?
Click here to find the original question and answer on LinkedIn Answers
Success Stories are part of my Success Through Balance approach to life. I believe that Success comes from living a balanced life. You can read more about being successful and the skills required here.
Copywriter & Small Business Coach
What I usually do is turn to a couple of books that have some inspirational words of wisdom, “Every Day Wisdom”, by Dr. Wayne Dyer. I also keep this thought on my tongue and in my head: “Don’t miss the lesson in this. Learn and grow strong from this experience.”
Writer/Author/Poet and Full Time Substitute Teacher at Livonia CSD, Geneseo CSD, York CSD
When I feel desperation over anything closing in, I stop what I am doing, move away from where I am , take a deep breath and either jump back in if it goes away or get away all together if it doesn’t. I choose a quiet spot, park or lakeside and just sit there and empty my mind and reboot. Sometimes eating or talking to my best friend will help as well.
Business Development Asia at Siemens AG
Call me conservative or boring. If it happens in the office, I have a look at the photo of my first son, think about the second son coming. If it happens while travelling, I pick up the phone. For me my family is the backbone that keeps me going. It’s always the simple things…..
ORG CHANGE, COMPLIANCE, PROCESS OPTIMIZATION @Toyota
Turn to others.
At a recent project replete with a looming audit, certification of a division in the balance, intense management scrutiny, flagging morale on the team, short-handed staff, technical issues, decreasing faith in the vendor, I learned to turn to some superiors for help, turn up the heat on other superiors and not bear the burden all by myself. I got help and none too soon.
Analogously, in personal life, turn to your friends and family.
Senior Analyst at Certica Solutions
For a lot of people, going to your “happy place” won’t work. True desperation runs a lot deeper than that – the only way to handle it is to be prepared. I’ve found the source of my strength in God, which allows me to handle things that are a lot bigger than me. It also helps me to be able to look beyond the immediate issue to the bigger questions – what can I learn from this? How can I use this experience to help others?
Visionary Entrepreneur, SDLC Expert, QA Engineer
If I’m feeling a little low and the weather is beautiful then the world is my oyster. Anything goes. However, if it’s cold outside and there is no good movie at the theatre I go to a bookstore.
p.s. I have not felt desperate as yet. When I’m close to that feeling I look up to the heavens and say “HEY, it’s your idea – YOU figure it out!”
Experienced senior manager, management consultant and programme director
My approach, for what its worth, is to take a small step back and ask myself why there is any feeling of desperation at all… sure things can get tough, but is the situation really as serious and life threatening as it is being made out to be – for most of us, thankfully, the answer to that question is usually “no”.
Desperation normally arises from feeling unable to cope with or influence the situation. If that is really the case, I ask myself whether I should be involved at all. Life is too short to allow such feelings to take hold.
Remember the prayer of St Francis…
Lord give me the courage to change what I can
The strength to endure what I cannot change
And the wisdom to know the difference
Here’s to wisdom and avoiding desperation
Entrepreneur in the making! Innovative Marketing and Management Professional
At the risk of sounding like a “new-ager”, if I start feeling that way I tend to utilize NLP and have an anchor for myself which is based around feelings of success and happiness. I used to use it years ago when I competed internationally in sport, right before I went on I’d anchor myself and remove that anxiousness, now I continue to use the same anchor in my business life. Works like a charm!
CIO / Sr. V.P. Equipment Management at Telogy, Inc.
First – you minimize the frequency of “desperation” by diligent practice and study of your craft. Desperation is (for me) the emotional-self, taking precedence over your intellectual-self, because the intellectual-self doesn’t know what to do. You reduce the likelihood of intellectual overload by being knowledgeable.
Expand on your professional knowledge-base by using others. Seek help from others more knowledgeable than you are when times are feeling desperate. These should be “specialists” who are a part of your team or group. Use them sparingly but do not hesitate to call them to task in those occasional instances that you must. (Return the consideration by providing these same specialists with your unswerving support when the opportunity to reciprocate arises)
As others have mentioned – faith is an important component and offers protection against “desperation”. I find that the suggestions above will allow you to possess a justifiable confidence in even the most challenging of situations. Combining these with some amount of personal faith will elevate that justifiable confidence to certainty.
Finally – you’ve got to be having fun – kick it up – blow off steam – whatever it is for you and your team – mess around. But make room for driven, focussed, and professional personalities to play.
Graphic Designer at Chicago Producers
I head for the hills… sometimes literally.
Whether you have 2 minutes or an entire night free during a stressful time take a break and practice forgetting it all. I know how hard that can be but with practice you can turn a stressful rush-hour drive in Chicago into 45 minutes of me time. Try books on tape, your favourite music or taking a different route through the park.
If I do have the time I try to get to the woods; nothing can calm me like the pure beauty of nature.
Product Quality Improvement Engineer at Philips Medical Systems
I am ready for whatever starts or whatever comes my way. And I just enjoy each ride offered to me, I just do it…
Marketing and Business Development Director; Communications; Writer; gayle@gwiegand.com
Not to sound like a Pollyanna – but I try hard never to reach a sense of desperation. I am a long-term cancer survivor and nothing since the day I received the diagnosis has brought me to such an extreme “low” – or eventually such an incredible “high.” But, when I do feel a bit low, I do all sorts of silly things…talk to myself (’cause I understand me!), sing songs for my furry 4-legged kids, put on some music and dance myself into exhaustion, grab my husband and shop till we drop, go crazy cleaning and reorganizing my house…anything to direct my energies to the good things in my life.
PM at Atharva
There are times when going gets really rough, and the desperation makes a count when you are not prepared. If you allow it to enter, it will occupy whole of your mind making footprints on your body n soul.
Expect less, do your duty without expecting the fruits of it.
Positive attitude helps a lot. For example, looking for an opportunity to learn.
Do not try to tackle it immediately, it will restrict you to think rationally. Let some time pass on and you will certainly find the problem is not that harmful as you had thought. It is a known devil now.
· Do not sit alone in your room. Go out, have sunlight and fresh air. Call your dear ones.
· When feel low do some body exercises, play game you like (not computer).
· As a long term remedy have some hobby.
· Put your father in that situation, and think what he would have done.
· Look at others, you will definitely find someone in worse situation than you, (will sound very bad but) console yourself.
· If you feel the situation is out of your control and then PRAY to GOD and keep doing your duties. The higher one will heal your wounds.
It is better if things go your way, but it is still better if things go other way as it is God’s wish.
Independent Information Technology and Services Professional
Take a break. Sounds cliché, but sometimes we can get into tunnel vision and not see the trees for the forest. Have a cup of coffee – talk to someone and discuss the issue you are having, either by chatting with the person next to me or online in the many forums. Then after a while the block/panic clears and I can get go on with it.
This is interesting as I’m reading this book “Zen and the Art of Systems Analysis” which the author advises that complex problems are solved in small pieces and not at once with a single crunch session. And I think it is true.
This usually works for me. Though I have to admit that sometimes I forget, especially if there is time pressure – that’s when most mistakes are made. Not when you are relaxed and able to think the problem through. If only the people who made the schedules realised this.
Managing Member at Steincom
The first and utmost thing is to forget that the word desperation is at all applicable to you in your life. You don’t need it. You don’t need to be desperate at all ever.
If you feel desperate, you are at the wrong place at the wrong time. There are no bad times in life, only opportunities to enjoy the journey called life.
Every problem, or situation you might come across that makes you feel this way, are simply moments of truth and reality, moments in your life that gives you the chance and opportunity to learn from and become a stronger you.
Desperation is not a problem but an encouragement to succeed.
If all else fails, remember, you are special cause God don’t make no junk and that whatever you might think calls for “desperate times calls for desperate actions” is nonsense, it calls for you to understand that God wants things better for you, but it’s you has to accept it.
This is not a question you should ask people, but ask yourself because the answer is already inside you and it starts with the question, why feel desperate in the first place? Sort it out inwardly, and it will never happen again.
Owner, Silicon Someware LLC
I pray to my god during which I beg for his mercy and his guidance. I also ignore the advice of fools and outside irritations.
Executive Creative Director at SMP
Desperation is a state of mind. Believe you are desperate, you are. Believe that you are not, you are not.
The thing that separates those who thrive in “desperate times” are those who understand that that moment of time, is just that, a moment in time. They do not hold on to it. Cling to it. They embrace it – then let it go.
Contrarily, same goes with the good times. Do not hold on or cling to them – embrace them, and let them go.
Business Development Manager
I think it’s very easy to say and share but not so easy to apply the teachings I am about to share. I have been in such situations often. I do listen to Dr. Wayne Dyer and Dr. Deepak Chopra for help but my favorite is “Practicing the Power of Now: Essential Teachings, Meditations, and Exercises from The Power of Now” By Eckhart Tolle.
The author is a preeminent expert on the power available to us when we focus on our immediate experiences rather than thinking abstractly about the past or future. At every moment, we have what we need to actualize our talents, connect fully with others, and dissolve the painful spaces between what we want and who we are. With language and ideas that will require some adaptation from many listeners, the author invites us to surrender our resistance to our true nature, which will be revealed to us when we stop trying to control everything. This eloquent lesson on practicing the author’s ideas develops more momentum and comprehensibility as the program moves along, even for new students of this approach to life.
As you may know success is a journey and not the destination so it really make sense not to waste time thinking about past and future.
- http://www.eckharttolle.com/
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eckhart_Tolle
- http://www.amazon.com/Practicing-Power-Now-Essential-Meditations/dp/1577311…
European Market Entry for US companies and Talent Acquisition
I watched a program on Self Help last night – The Secret to Cosmic Programming, all advertising the elixir to getting what you want. I was in a real quandary.
And I thought about defining success – for a young kid in Rwanda the challenge of finding the next mouthful of food or water is like climbing Everest, for a terminally ill person the challenge may be to see their loved one’s smile one more time. For them success could be surviving one more day or even an hour. ‘The Secret’ is about as useful to them as toilet paper.
When I get desperate, I think about people like that and it reminds me that I’m not desperate at all, I’m just frustrated. It helps give some perspective.
Frustrated I can deal with as it just takes a bit of logic and self help is very helpful for that. If I really want that Porsche – it’s obtainable, it really depends how much I am willing to trade to get it. Mr. Lucas was just frustrated he could not break through and make millions – he was desperate for success rather than desperate.
If someone close to me gets clinical depression, you could have Anthony Robbins dance around the room reciting his whole repertoire stark naked while Zig Ziglar plays the banjo and I can guarantee you it would have zero affect until the drugs solve the issue. Self help kicks in to try and make the length of time longer between episodes.
So let’s be clear – we are talking about frustration here, not real desperation.
With that in mind – Borders has a whole wall of books to buy on the subject.
bruce.kane.linkedin@gmail.com | Professional Services Consultant (Microsoft Exchange) | LION / open networker
I found tremendous solace in Dale Carnegie’s book “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”. Quoting from link below… The “what-if” syndrome causes a lot of unnecessary worrying. One way to overcome this problem is to image the worst-case scenario. For example, if you’re anxious about an upcoming job interview, ask yourself, “what’s the worst that can happen?” In this case, you won’t get hired for the job. Although this may create a setback, it’s not the end of the world, and you’ll probably come across a better opportunity.
Mental Health and Criminal Justice Program Manager
When I am not able to find the strength, resources or positive energy within myself, I turn to others. I seek out friends, family members, support or networking groups and books. I am currently reading an inspirational book called The Traveler’s Gift by Andy Andrews.
Gerry Lo ??? 951.314.2257 wingtiphsu@yahoo.com Engineering Manager lo_gerald@hotmail.com 3230 contacts
Few feelings of desperation have been isolated to individuals, in my experience. I seem to see it often.
I can’t reliably distinguish unqualified exuberant terminal optimism from the clinical symptoms of insanity.
Having said that, I’ve found that panic and terror are contagious, and make an effort as manager not to exacerbate the entropy and chaos typically concomitant with my project assignments.
I take for guidance Chapter Seven of Sun Tzu’s “Art of War,” which after all suggests that a leader’s study of the principles and dynamics of conflict are key to governance of the enterprise.
To be on the spot early, to plan prior to engagement, to unify one’s resources and to maintain a sense of calm are easily accessible principles to which we can all relate.
To defer conflict in the face of patently superior adversity, to represent no prospective obstacle to those who feel, rightly or wrongly, that they are in desperate straits and who therefore might be expected to lash out as though they are cornered and fighting for survival has been very good guidance in my career.
One of my field supervisors once asked me why it was my habit to manage my construction projects by wandering around, invariably replying “Excellent!” to all news, good or not-so-much.
I told him that I would otherwise shortly become notorious for being “that Chinese guy who goes around swearing all the time.”
I seemed to notice that my response would often take bearers of terrible tidings by surprise and that they would invariably laugh automatically at the irony, which I found appeared to somehow encourage them that I was equal to the occasion. After a conference, it inevitably developed that we were both more than capable of resolving the exigency.
Team Leader at Value One Info Tech Pvt. Ltd. Delhi
In such situation I think that God has put me in this situation and it is He who wants me to be there in this situation. I take it as a gift from my God.
Creative and Fun Strategic Leader with expertise in financial management, customer service, and inspiring teams
Any frustration will either pass or I’ll get past it. I’ve survived everything I’ve ever encountered, so why not this one?
Image Consultant, Owner, Polished Professional Image
When I have feelings of desperation, I pray. Ask what lesson I’m missing and thank God for bringing me to it and bringing me through it.
Senior Financial Analyst at Blackhawk Network
I think it depends on the situation. Sometimes you just are not going to make it for lack of talent and it’s good to throw in the towel. Other times you know you can make it in your heart and you persevere.
When I worked as an English teacher in Spain, I wasn’t that great and got cut. I spent the next 1.5 months trying to find a restaurant job being bilingual to pay bills to no avail. I finally just called my dad who gave me the plane ticket money to come home.
In my Masters program, it was a real test of my ability and my marriage, since I was doing it in a different country than where my wife lived and we lived weeks apart since I lived in Belgium while she did in Germany. I kept at it, counselled my wife and was able to graduate and stay married. Then we moved to California.
Business Development – Healthcare – Job Seeker -TopLinked.com
In order to have a feeling of desperation, you also need to have a feeling of being a victim. This includes acting like we have no control, blaming others for our unhappiness, grudgingly going along, and acting like there is no solution.
I found a teacher who confronts this head on and demonstrates techniques to avoid the whole victim mentality. Check him out and I think you’ll be amazed at how the power of simply giving and receiving unconditional love keeps you away from going down that black hole of acting like a victim.
Analyst at Barclays
I remember that nothing lasts, and also that being as strong as you can in moments of crisis gives a deep feeling of personal satisfaction once the worst is over. Being a family man also matters a great deal. Getting through on your own is a harder journey.
Owner, strategist design group
I usually get to that point because I have NOT been doing the following things:
Staying near God by reading His Word daily and daily exercise.
When I find that because of deadlines or other pressures I’m now at a point of desperation…I immediately review the things that I’m grateful for and thank God for them and I review all of the answered prayers in my life. I find that remembering that God has seen me through worse situations, puts the one I’m currently in….in perspective. I then pray specifically about the situation and do my best to Let Go and Let God. And then of course I put my nose to the grindstone and work hard, knowing that God is lighting my path.
Wisdom Teacher – Dedicated to helping people evolve and making the world a more beautiful place
I pray, listen to music, work out, and help others. I am very blessed to have a friend, who is really an angel, to talk to and work with. He is helping me to see myself more clearly and reminding me to stay connected to my higher self.
Owner, X-OUT
Just smile and take a deep breath.
Senior IT Leader/Director
It doesn’t happen to me often, but when it does, I treat every small activity as a small victory, and chain the small victories together until I get through it. Woke up today – a victory. Took my shower – a victory. Got dressed – a victory. Made it into work – a victory. PC booted up okay again – another victory, and so on and so on.
Service Delivery Manager at The Nielsen Company
Every day something good happens – if you focus on the good things you get through the day – and the next one, and next one…
Owner, Searching in the Business Development field
Years ago, I was in a marriage that was in it’s last stages, in a business that I no longer cared about, and I was looking at turning 40. One day, I had to get out of our apartment and I took a walk. As I went along, wrapped up in my internal fog I came across a mother and daughter sitting outside an ice cream shop. As I got closer, I noticed that the girl was a Down’s Syndrome child. My first thought was, “How sad”, but as I got closer I noticed that this child was eating (or rather wearing her ice cream cone) and was laughing and had the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. She and her mother were leaning into each other, totally living in this moment and just so happy with this simple exercise in life. As I continued to get closer, this girl looked up at me and gave me an even bigger smile, simply sharing her joy in living.
As I passed, it made me think that no matter what my circumstances were right then that there was simply so much simple joy to be found all around us, if we only look. Since then, I have remarried and my life is incalculably better. I have had many challenges since then, including a current job search after my position was suddenly cut due to budget cuts. Through them all, however, I remember that one moment and it enables me to look past the challenges, see the beauty of opportunity, and face the future.
Inside Sales Revenue Acceleration Expert ? Coach & Trainer ? MyLink500.com ? penoyercom@comcast.net
A little over a year ago I had the fortune to meet one of these rare people in life who are just wise beyond belief. For the next year I had the pleasure of attending a “mastermind group” he held at his house each week. It is from this experience I would like to share the answer to this question.
Many believe that it is “circumstances” that make our future. This is the farthest thing from the truth. You only need study the circumstances of some of the most famous and successful people in the world to learn they started well below where you are today. Our success in life is based on how we react to “circumstances” and that is the reason this question is so valuable.
The universe delivers what you seek. If you have come to an unfortunate circumstance, and you are honest with yourself you have no one to blame but yourself — you are the master of your universe — a most powerful spiritual being.
In these situations you must first ask the question: “What wonderful opportunity to learn have I been offered?”
The answer to the question and your solution to the situation form the basis for future wisdom and strength. And for that we are grateful!
Experienced transportation consultant, Gallery Director and Creative problem solver.
As many others have noted, I too attempt to tap into that inner space, that God space where I remember that when I do let go and let God and stop trying to manipulate and figure it out on my own, it (the problem or challenge) usually works itself out and lesson learned. When you become mired down in “the problem” you’re stuck literally and figuratively. Finally I print out my ‘lessons from the universe’ (tut.com) email messages and have them in an envelope by my keyboard. I just reach in and pull one out at random, read it, pray on it and take real deep cleansing breaths. Truth is, anxiety over any issue that leads us to feel desperate at rock bottom is just a lack of faith.
CEO at Componence B.V.
Whatever we do, it’s usually our choice to do it. I always believe that I am responsible for my life and that I am capable of getting myself somewhere I want to be. Even when things happen the way we just do not want them to happen, it is still us that makes the choice not to accept the change and to deal with it.
Having said that, there were many times in my entrepreneurship that I (my company) was on the edge of bankruptcy or that my relationship broke up with the love of my life (currently my fiancée) because I just didn’t value the relationship. At those moments it was still my choice not to stop and to just find a job with a normal paying salary and not to put my relationship on priority 1 instead of 2 or 3. I always found strength to continue and in those times I usually found out that I was capable of doing more than I thought I could. And perspectives usually change if we ourselves are capable to redefine our personal life vision. And when perspectives change, usually also the ways to get out of the situation or even to leave and accept the situation as it is. I mean, if the hungry people in Africa have no other choice to accept their situation, we should be able to accept when we lose our jobs or have to sell our house for a smaller house or have to do 1 Christmas without the presents (easily).
Besides believing in myself, I learned to confront myself with the other alternative: what if it doesn’t work out? And I would keep on asking myself that question each time the answer was still bad in my mind. Often I end with the answer that it’s not that bad. And then I could go on again to start fixing whatever it took to get me out of the situation, and small steps work. It’s maybe a cliché, but if Lance Armstrong can overcome his cancer, then I don’t think most of our problems are that bad and that we can also overcome them.
At the current moment in my life I think that if I myself didn’t experience all the hardship, I wouldn’t have been at my current position in life. And as the CEO and proud owner of the company I worry daily for the welfare of my people and I will do my best to bring my company and my people more success, but I have accepted that I am not allowed to forget my own life and that of my loved ones. And you know what, I think that with a better balance in professional, personal and spiritual life I am able to handle more situations and have less thoughts of desperations.
Although I’m not religious I think there are many common ideas between Buddhism and Christianity to prevent us from desperation:
- restraint your longings for more. Be happy with what you have
- just live a good life and help people where you can – so give away money
- you must take care of your own body. Life is a gift
Technology and Software Marketing, Analysis, 2000+Connections -Stevers1@gmail.com
I try and remember that depression can cause some positive things to happen, by forcing them to make the needed changes to make an improvement in their lives, it can also force them to make a realistic assessment of what is really important. People say lots of bad things about depression for good reason, but I believe the feeling does have a real place in our lives.
Marketing Communication Executive
Talking things through with close friends and family is a high priority. I like problem solving and pushing through hard times. People who understand you best can give the best advice. The other is I run, bike or swim. Given that I am a tri-athlete I get a lot of inspiration from those from the sport along with the “high” you get from simply running it off.
Managing Consultant at NAB Associates, [LION] TopLinked.com
Don’t be afraid to ask for help, but make sure it’s coming from the most reliable source.
Executive Director at Earth-Appraisal Company, Ltd.
I find that my feelings of being overwhelmed or desperation are largely based on some kind of fear. Someone told me once that FEAR is an acronym for “False Expectations Altering Reality”. I remember this and try to keep a positive, pragmatic view of the problem.
In difficult times, I usually take a simple walk (anywhere) and note all the miracles that surround us on a daily basis. Flowers/trees in bloom, a flock of birds, noting others who obviously having a more difficult day than mine & extending a helping hand all work to reduce my personal stress.
Senior Quality Engineer at Freescale
Frankly speaking, nowadays, I start reading answers in LinkedIn and get involved. In past, I used to read books which interests me, like, one I read was Sherlock Holmes long ago. Talking/confiding to my family and close friends always does wonders. Listening to good music soothes the mood.
In nutshell, I try to do something else which adds value to me in long term. I change my mind to different topic and learn/enjoy something.
Seiser Institute of IdentityTherapy
By keeping my eyes on the positive direction, focus on my own positive identity, and keep going through any temporary inconvenience.
Systems Analyst at Bray International, Inc
I go for a jog!
[ZT - A person after my own heart. Read my article Marathon Running Will help You Succeed In Business and Marathon Running Is A Metaphor For Success]
Director, Sun Microsystems, Inc.
Okay – the way I get through feeling like things are really bad – I do physical labour – like painting. I just learned to install insulation in a 100 year old home of a dear friend – and I measured, cut wood, nailed with a nail gun and hoisted the wall for a closet then nailed the wall to the house – let’s just say – been there, done that – and I don’t need to do that again – ever – I will stick to painting.
I think that physical labour helps you to get away from the problem and gives the mind a break to think of something else. Of course, your body will be hurting so badly that thinking about it is not an option. You have to get away from the problem in order to provide space to clearly see the problem for what it is and take appropriate action.
Network Ecosystem Limited
I would like to write a quote which I love to bits:
“Deep thinking will present the clearest picture of any problem” – Imam Ali (A.S.)
This is, in my opinion, everybody’s ticket out of desperation. I have learnt from experience that as long as you can keep thinking clearly and keep working (even in small, well-thought-out steps) towards getting out of it, you will get out of it.
For me the single most important motivation in desperate times is saying to myself that “if I get of this mess what an accomplishment it would be?”
I also turn to my mentors/friends for advice. Read advice, articles of people who have been in similar position.
And sure, I pray. I know many will relate to it when I say that communication with God has a deep effect on your thought process, you know that if all else is going wrong you are still doing something right.
Also exercising is sure to keep you sane for long in these situations. If you are in such a situation there are a few things you can surely benefit from and one of those top activities is exercising. Its a good stress buster.
Recruiter at Advanced Placement Team and Owner, Advanced Placement Team
My answer on this has changed depending on the cause of depression. I am not naturally a depressed person. I think if you had to classify me you would have to take off the word depressive from manic-depressive. This has even come close to causing me a job because the interviewing group thought I was not answering truthfully on how I would handle negative situations – luckily there was someone in the group who had known me for many years and was able to convince them that I really am that positive. I think a big part of depression is hard wired into us. It is natural for me to look at the situation and find things that are positive. I have two small children and one was born positive and the other was born negative. Now, that being said, even though my daughter was born with a bit more of a negative outlook, there are things I work with her on to help that outlook.
I think especially being depressed over things we have the ability to change is foolish. Figure out what steps will change the situation and get to it! You get depressed sitting around thinking about how bad things are and how sad you are. Now, my Mom, who was also my best friend, passed away in December. It is only natural to have a bit of sadness/depression at the loss of a loved one or relationship that is beyond your control. I do allow myself a very little time to mourn, but then find more positive things to do with my time and find someone else that needs help and suddenly I find myself feeling better.
Application Packaging Specialist at BNP PARIBAS and Technical Leader
I try to pull out my attention from it.
I keep on saying myself “Don’t worry, God has better plans for you.”
When going gets rough, I start praying and praising Him.
Analysed yet thoroughly Confused; The more she learns, the less she knows!!!
I reflect on all past desperations….and realize that the world did not come to an end, neither did I die (though often death would have been easier!) That kind of jades me with respect to the problem. “So this is yet another one! Nothing special about this one!”
And life goes on….and so do I, and so does the world…
Chief Consumer Coach (CCC) at EXIT3A.com
I turn to C-SPAN. I gain both insight and inspiration from our political leaders and try to translate that into business success.
Anger Management/executive Coaching for Physicians
My self-awareness is such that I never permit my feeling to become this intense. As I sense myself approaching any thing near desperation, I stop, self talk, engage others and allow myself time to use my feelings, intuition and brain to reach the best decision.
Holland‘s first professional representant [woepwoep@gmail.com] MLPF, MyLink500, LION, TopLinked, opennetworkers, 7100+
I also loved the story of George Lucas, and was reminded of a quote attributed to Vincent van Gogh :
“If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.”
I did look up the word desperate on Merriam-Webster dictionary, and being redirected to the word despair, I found :
“despair : to lose all hope or confidence “
This reminded of a definition of forgiveness that I once read : “forgiveness is to lose all hope for a better past.”
So I think that desperation is the place where the ego melts in the heart.
“Love starts when we push aside our ego and make room for someone else.” Rudolf Steiner
My personal experience with desperation is this :
I named my company “Maak je geen Zorgen” , means : make you no worries
I apply “make you no worries” as a life attitude, a life mission if you will.
So in my life there is no despair, simply because I accept what life offers
Senior Marketing Manager at DLF Services Limited
When the “going gets tough” I usually do one of the following, in no particular order.
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Stop what I am doing. Sit back to take a deep breath. Re-assess my options and dive back into addressing the situation.
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Look for support and positive affirmations in my abilities from my family. Discuss my options and talk about what I plan to do.
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Change my mood by listening to music. Music moves me to a different level. Its not important what kind of music, its just what appeals to me at that particular moment.
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Go for a long walk in the park.
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Meditate / Pray
CEO at Archimedes Consulting BVBA
I personally believe in a quote from Buddhism (although I’m absolutely not a Buddhist):
All that we are is the result of what we thought.
Customer Understanding Connector, Moderator, Consultant and Facilitator
I try not to feel desperate. But sometimes I can feel like a difficult situation is unending. I ask myself…
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What’s the worst thing that can happen here?
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Will I die?
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A year from now, will it make a difference if this think happened/didn’t happen?
That usually gets me back on track.
- [ZT - I bet you are a A Dale Carnegie Enthusiast - See my Article Why We Worry About The Things We Shouldn't]
Senior Program Manger Online Operations at Microsoft
Mine is simple, I realize that I don’t know how things will be ultimately resolved. But I do know that God has carried me through more than I can believe. I also realize that there is no way that God has brought me through so much to turn his back on me now and so I find comfort in knowing that ultimately things will work out in a way that improves my situation.
Account Manager at DataSource Technical Consulting
When I feel desperation in any area of my life…the first thing I do is PRAY. I believe that God is bigger than any problem and that he is within me. I believe in the power of words and thoughts, so I try to focus on being optimistic and positive. I think about all of the past obstacles I have overcome and know that I will get through this…I might feel weak and broken now, but I will rise up again with even greater strength.
I also read positive books. One book I highly suggest to others: “You Best Life Now” by Joel Osteen. That book can change your life.
Negative thinking will drown you and make you feel like ending it all…it will make you fall into a pit of self-pity, insecurity and a loss of self-worth. Even if you don’t feel it – Speak positive words over yourself and your life. In a short time, you will see and feel something different and positive.
Lastly, if I am in a negative situation that I cannot change and it constantly affects my life – I get OUT of the situation. Nothing is worth losing yourself and your happiness. Life IS too short, friends.
Cling to your passions and your dreams…do positive things that make you feel good about life. Paint, hike, read, cook…YES, you can make time for it.
I will end with a quote by James Dean: “Dream as though you will live forever, but live as though you will die today.”
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