Welcome to another article in the Success Story series. The Success Stories series provides answers to some of the questions about what it takes to become successful. While each of us is unique in our goals and aspirations, we have things in common with others. By consulting my LinkedIn network of over 9,000,000 people, I believe I can find ideas and solutions that may help you achieve some of your goals. While I may not agree with all of the comments below, I include each and everyone that is presented coherently and may help one of my readers.
The questions have been slightly edited for grammar and presentation. Comments and Kudos, while appreciated, have been edited out.
I posted an article on what I believed Self Confidence includes. The article on Self Confidence can be found here. I asked my LinkedIn network what they thought and here is their answers.
Click here to find the original question and answer on LinkedIn Answers
Success Stories are part of my Success Through Balance approach to life. I believe that Success comes from living a balanced life. You can read more about being successful and the skills required here.
Principal at Unbridled Brain
Self confidence is the ability to attempt the difficult because for the self confident, failure is not the end of the road, but an essential learning tool along the way.
Self confidence is a fine line to walk – arrogance can be easily disguised as self confidence but arrogance is destructive where self confidence is constructive.
Self confidence can be created. Do the things that self confident people do long enough and it changes you.
Links:
Coach-Life Change/Hope & Serenity/Addictions
Self-confidence is feeling good about the person you see in the mirror everyday! That is the person that matters.
Having self-confidence has allowed me to embark on a whole new career, building off successes that have really felt good in my past. I go forward knowing that I have the talent and experience to make a positive difference in the lives of others, and that my motives are honest!
Career Coach, Management Consultant, Writer
I have two levels of self-confidence. The first one gives me the energy to step off the diving board of life, then swim like an Olympian to reach the edge of the pool. Example: I said "yes" to hosting an hour-long all-talk radio show for Clear Channel. I had previous experience, in small markets, with a half-hour interview show. This was the big leagues. I was scared, nervous and literally shaking in my shoes… but I did it. The other confidence is that inner "knowing" when you make a statement or decision based on who you. The "who" includes your life experiences, education, faith and inner core being.
Senior IT Leader/Director
In my view, self confidence is knowing yourself and your capabilities to the point where you are willing to take calculated risks into unfamiliar territory.
Everybody does well on a good day when the sun is shining and the birds are singing.
The self confident are willing to walk into and embrace the "Tornado of Life" and attempt to calm things down and make things right.
Major Gift Officer at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute
Soliciting charitable gifts requires passion, a good story and enormous reserves of self confidence. Sometimes self-confidence is all you have.
To paraphrase Von Moltke, "No plan ever survives contact with reality." One solicitation comes to mind although a thread of this truth has woven itself into every solicitation I have ever implemented. Two years ago, I spoke to a very successful alumnus of my employer. I had done significant research on this gentleman and his career. I had multiple talking points mapped out in my mind that I was sure would create interest on his part.
For two hours, I was treated to an exposition on the horrors visited upon him as a student and that he would never be a donor. Reality had risen its ugly head and crushed the finely tuned strategy I had sweated over for days. I had been given nothing to work with and yet I was still able to stand my ground. I listened patiently and spoke to him evenly and respectfully and left any conversation about a gift fall away from the room. He and I spent another two hours talking about ourselves and the challenges we had faced in life. We found quite a bit of common ground and we met repeatedly for the next two years. After he had made his gift, not too long ago, I asked him why things had turned so dramatically from the first time he and I had met. He said that he enjoyed how I had responded to his tirade and then he asked me what kept me in the room. I thought about that for a minute. I answered that stayed because I had confidence in myself and my ability to connect him back to his alma mater.
While this was one of the most satisfying gifts I have ever worked on, and I credit my self confidence in large part. However, I do not equate self confidence with an overly large ego. In fact, I think, it means just the opposite. I can’t tell you where one begins and the other ends – all I know is that one works and is positive while the other tends to end things.
I lean on this memory when things get tough, as they sometimes do in this field.
Marketing Consultant, Commercial Writer & Author
Self confidence and success go hand in hand.
In the early days of my business, I often had neither. Then one day I decided if I didn’t have self confidence, I would act as if I did. I typed "Failure is NOT an option" on a card and placed it above my computer as a reminder. I vowed to do things that were uncomfortable and scary.
Whenever I take an action that is outside my comfort zone, my confidence grows. And whenever I take an action that’s outside my comfort zone, my success grows too. If I keep doing what I did before, new opportunities never arise. By having the self confidence to try new things, I create new opportunities which leads to success.
>>> LOOKING <<< for opportunities .:. LION.8.6M.contacts
Not sure my self confidence made me more successful but probably saved my life – on one occasion anyway.
It was 1969 in Kunsan Korean (40 miles south of DMZ) and it was 2 am in the morning. I sitting in an USAF F4 working on some equipment, and a North Korean suddenly crossed in front of me on the runway. Stupid me got out of the plane and tackled the guy and help him down until the MPs arrived (they were chasing him on foot). Not sure why I did it, but hey it was something to tell the kids.
Versatile Leader in Engineering
What I’d like to add is self confidence makes it easy to share rewards with the team. So many times people are afraid to share credit thinking it will diminish their accomplishments – not true! It increases your value to the organization by making people want to work with you, as they know you won’t leave them out of the sunshine of a project well done.
Self confidence is not being afraid to fail at something new. If you are afraid to fail, you won’t try – and won’t succeed, either.
Managing Consultant and Senior Instructor
Self confidence channeled in the right way (for you, that is) can lead to success (again, as defined by you). Self confidence is what keeps your feet, hands or mouth moving even when the naysayer on your shoulder and/or those around you say something can not or should not be done. Self confidence is what makes it OK to fall, since you know you can and will pick yourself up. Self confidence can be either constructive (leading towards success) or destructive (eventually becoming arrogance). When used constructively self confidence moves you towards something. That continued movement is your success. This is true whether the end goal is ever achieved.
Here’s my story:
I entered my profession by accident. I am an educator by trade (an MA) and a consultant in practice (project management, organization development, etc.). Along the way to my eventual profession, I had many obstacles placed in my way, including moving to three different states in a span of five years (not my idea). Each state I went to had their own certification requirements and each time I picked up and moved, I checked into the requirements and began working on those while I picked up temp jobs along the way (some boring, some extremely interesting). It was on the third move, that my latest temp job landed me at a now defunct company. I did several jobs for that company "learning the ropes" from the ground up" and eventually I was provided the opportunity to get involved with something called project management (new to me at the time). I was sent to school by that company and "found" my new profession. Along the way, I’ve expanded my horizons to include mentoring and now again, education and instruction.
I had the self confidence to continue my journey when others might have given up and today I’ve become successful in my profession because of that. Again, it’s the journey that leads to success as each of us use our self confidence to find the right road(s) for us to take — personal or professional.
Project Manager at SoftDel
Self confidence builds courage. It helps me to attack any unknown problems in the face of fear without controlled by any past bad experiences. It also build platform to attack new set of problems which will come in future.
Human Resource Manager at eTouch
Self Confidence is believing that you have given your best shot !!!
Self-Confidence allows me to ask tough questions and operate as a free thinking free speaking person unbound by convention or the need to be unconventional.
Writer/Author/Poet and Full Time Substitute Teacher at
Self confidence can be as simple as the glow that comes from you when you are comfortable in your own skin and show it. Happiness and being the best you can be provides this for a lot of us.
It can also be laughing at yourself when you choke because of a joke and a beverage comes out your nose, or you walk out of the bathroom with toilet paper in your pants or on your shoes. When someone points out that you are unzipped or unbuttoned or otherwise clothing-malfunctioned!
It can also be the way that you walk, talk, behave around others in general. Confidence is catching – If you have it, pass it on and pay it forward!
Creative Staffing and Recruiting Professional (LION- kahlinkelly@aol.com)
Being currently in a difficult job search full of last minute changes and rejection, it is confidence that keeps me pushing forward each day. I know who I am and what I can do and bring to the table. If something doesn’t work out, I move on to the next and continue to shine like a rock star.
Chief Bottle Washer in the Church of the Evangelistic Unwired and LinkedIn’s Bad boy
Having the guts to stand there even if it may be a losing battle.
Editor in Chief, CareerKnowledge.net (omnidigitalbrain@yahoo.com)
Self-confidence is a short (or non-existent) biographical memory. It’s almost the ability to erase, at will, one’s personal history.
In other words, if lack of self-confidence comes mostly from having tried things in the past and failing, then true self-confidence comes from truly forgetting about one’s past and start new things WITHOUT any inhibition or emotional interference.
As Carlos Castanedas has suggested, if one forgets one’s personal history, one becomes a field of infinite potential. The keen awareness of this field of infinite potentiality is what true confidence is about.
It is confidence about the Source Energy that is within us, and has little to do with our physical self (or ego). To the extent that we let this Energy express itself freely through us, then we will feel the flow of Life.
The statement "God (or Life Energy for those who don’t believe in God) can only do for you what He can do through you" is highly accurate. We (or our personal history, which carries certain limiting beliefs and self-defeating mental patterns) tend to be our own biggest obstacle in life. Other people are rarely the obstacle to our achieving our goals
Ever since I stopped stopping myself by doing spontaneously and creating spontaneous anything that comes to my mind without interference on my part, great things have happened to me and keep happening to me!
Coach & trainer, Professional Motivational Speaker , Author, fundraiser, health radio
Self confidence is at the base of all our achievements, at the base of all our positive steps forward. It is about the ability to step out of comfort zones with the knowledge that we have all the resources we need to achieve.
Self confidence is about tapping into our inner strength to set, and achieve big goals
Self confidence is about being able to say "No" when we feel things are not right for us.
Managing Member at Steincom
[ZT - Nico commented line by line on my definition of Self Confidence]
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Self Confidence is understanding what you can do and what you can’t do. {No, that is knowing yourself}
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Its knowing you can solve any problem {That’s called self believe or faith in yourself} or challenge that life throws at you {That’s living live – real true life}.
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Self Confidence is about being able to create written goals and KNOWING that you will complete everything you set your mind to. {This is being goal orientated and dedication}
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Self confidence is you are in control of your future. {That’s false hope, unless you live your life in parallel with God’s will}
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Self confidence is taking a stand and sticking to it {That will be bravery}
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Self confidence is knowing when you are wrong and admitting it. {Called honesty}
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Self confidence is having the imagination to see things that don’t exist and creating them. {Called creativity and visualization which Einstein said is the key to intelligence}
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Self confidence is being enthusiasm about everything you do. {You said it; enthusiasm}
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Self confidence is having self control. {No more to add – it’s self control – the willingness to do the right thing}
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Self confidence is doing more than you are being paid for and reaping greater rewards throughout life. {That’s called devotion}
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Self confidence is being nice and polite and have a pleasing personality no matter how your are treated. {That’s humanity}
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Self confidence being accurate in your thinking. {Only being mentally sane}
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Self confidence is concentrating on one thing until it’s completed. {Focusing}
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Self confidence is working with others while taking a back seat when needed. {Called humility}
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Self confidence is seeing each of your failures as a new lesson on how to succeed. {Called learning}
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Self confidence is treating every person the way you would like to be treated. {Again humanity}
Padma Kumar came close, but with a small change (sorry). It’s not "Self Confidence is believing that you have given your best shot!!!," but believing you are and will give it your best shot!!!
Self confidence is believing you are doing the right thing and sticking by it, no matter whether it is right or wrong in other’s eyes, whether you are weak or strong, have the ability or not, but going out and simply doing it!
Network Ambassador – Innovation –
Self Confidence can be a blessing or a curse. It’s a blessing when your confidence is soundly based, and a curse when you are certain you are "right" when in fact you are wrong. Sadly my own mind can’t tell me if I’m really right or wrong. My own mind is totally committed to being RIGHT all the time. Hence the danger.
So self confidence needs to include the confidence to listen to others, and recognizing resistance in the environment, that may give clues to errors in your own world map (or perhaps even just the problem map). One fairly clear sign of misplaced self confidence is an inability to meet deadlines, or an inability to complete a project that’s been 95% done for several months now.
Our self confidence is self defeating when we are unable to re-examine the things we believe are TRUE, to discover the untruth that’s preventing our progress. For instance, in the discovery of DNA, the work was held up several times by wrong ideas. Most notable of course was the neglect of Rosalind Franklin’s work. But also they had discovered RNA, but they couldn’t work out what it DID. They spent two years trying to solve that problem before realizing that it was a "messenger" rather than a "doer".
In innovation, over and over, people need to draw new maps of the territory they are exploring. Those maps inevitably have errors that arise from faulty assumptions. Sometimes that’s a fatal flaw in the work, and sometimes it doesn’t matter.
Self confidence is vital because it allows us to be proactive. For instance to begin to explore any new territory one has to have the confidence to imagine where one is going and to take steps down dark unexplored paths. This is essential to learning and to making personal progress. Each of us drives our own ability to learn, and self confidence allows you to progress more quickly. You are able to make bigger and more detailed maps of what you are learning if you have a self confident approach.
But of course there’s a trap. That lovely new map has hidden in it some assumptions, some errors that are now invisible to you. We’ve now come full circle. Self confidence is both a blessing and a curse. Be self confident by all means, but carry the ability to doubt, to ask questions, to re-examine the map you are using.
Success Coach & Law Professor
I was not a very successful student in high school. Experience and feedback taught me I was not going to be academically successful. I managed to graduate and went to get a business diploma. My first quarter I earned an A and some Bs. I hung the report card up in my room to remind myself during those early days of college that I could be successful. I went on to get a BS, JD, and PhD.
On another note, I am not so sure that it is necessarily self confidence that I possess so much as trust. Trust that I will do my best, trust that others will help and appreciate my efforts and trust that everything will work out. I let go of the struggle between confidence and fear.
Independent Real Estate Professional
Self confidence is not just forgetting who you might have used to be, for me it’s remembering the most successful times and using that energy to project the appearance that is required for the moment.
I once had a great mentor who simply believed that: I could, I could do anything that I was asked to do. So of course-I did. That was an enlightening experience because it taught me that if they could believe to that extent, then perhaps I should, too. I do use it when I am in front of a group that might be a bit more intimidating that usual.
I do have one trick that I will share with you that – kills in meetings or my classes. If you can get to a point that you can remember up to 20 names with faces of new people for just an hour or so – you will own the stage.
As I begin, I try to meet participants in class- I introduce myself to a few at least and I talk to them early on. When I teach I mention some of what was discussed. It brings them into the conversation and will usually get their support at any moment that I might need it. They become and feel special and unique. It also seems to add a level of respect that you can do something that most people don’t do well.
Sometimes for me it’s the old fashioned word-‘In the Groove.’ When I’m teaching and I’m up and excited about the day-the class will be more than good it will be great and sometimes not sleeping well the night before is an asset. It let’s your inhibitions slip a bit and let’s you be a bit crazy-then you have to rely on all of the things you might have used in the past to startle, tempt, offer, tease, and impress. They just start popping out and people enjoy being with you. When they are happy they are more likely to participate, when they participate they will retain!
So some of my Self confidence comes from choosing to "just do it" and have fun doing it while the job takes care of getting done on it’s own. I suspect we don’t have enough fun in the daytime hours of our time these days and maybe it wouldn’t hurt anyone to have just a bit more, fun that is, as long as the quality doesn’t slip.
I have one more thought-Self Esteem is realizing that if your sales experience was of the variety of leads coming to you and now they don’t because you have changed what you sell-it’s time for you to change and make it happen again. Instead of reaching out a hand to take-you reach out to shake! Paradigm shift!
bruce.kane.linkedin@gmail.com | Professional Services Consultant (Microsoft Exchange) | LION / open networker
I used to be an introverted IT geek, who could never start a conversation and shied away from talking to people I didn’t know. Until I was "forced" into a Dale Carnegie training class, where I broke through my shell.
I’m now a consultant who spends almost 75% of his time on the road with new people on new projects. I start conversations and generate new leads and new candidates for my employer. And I love it!
Application Packaging Specialist at BNP PARIBAS and Technical Leader
Self confidence is knowing yourself better than any other person knows you.
Loving yourself and exploring yourself.
To know who I am, what I want to achieve, why I want to achieve and how I can achieve.
When you ask yourself all these questions and you have answers of all then you are successful.
Creative and Fun Strategic Leader with expertise in financial management, customer service, and inspiring teams
Self confidence is the ability to know yourself and be proud of yourself without bragging or promising something you can’t deliver. Oversimplified, of course.
It’s helped me in interviews, negotiations, and getting my way in the office place. I’ve made a good impression in interviews by telling my story in a way that is persuasive and makes the interviewer realize that while I want the job, I don’t need the job. He needs me.
In negotiations it allows me to hold firm to a reasonable position and force the other person to be reasonable as well or else leave the deal.
In the office, it allows me to meet my goals, which are a subset of the organizational goals. I can manage my time on my terms not someone else’s "urgent" needs. I can say no to things that I don’t need to do and yet to things that I do need to do. It also helps me confront those who aren’t meeting goals that I need met to meet the organization’s goals.
Information Technology
With self-confidence and a "Dummy’s Guide to SQL" I got an IT management position!
Anger Management/executive Coaching for Physicians
During my professional career, I have made certain to narrow my focus and develop competence in these areas. I am trained as a Child Psychotherapist from
It is easy to develop self confidence and competence as a specialist rather than a generalist.
Currently, I am the largest provider worldwide of Executive Coaching/Anger Management for Physicians. Again, this is a very specialized market. Therefore, it is not hard to be the very best.
This style of developing competence and self-confidence has served me well.
IT Professional with proven success in User Experience, Innovation & Knowledge Management
Self Confidence is also about being a tough minded optimist. When the going gets tough, the tough gets going!
Self confident people are those who not only have confidence in themselves, but also those who can inspire, motivate and lead people during challenging times, tough times. People would want to follow those who portray a positive attitude with confidence. They would not want to follow those who are weak and lack confidence. All successful people are leaders who have confidence in themselves and their team.
All great leaders are self confident people, they boost the morale of their teams and they drive innovation and growth. They see what all see but think what none think.
And, self confident people understand that in most cases, it’s just too early to quit. They are willing to go the extra mile and make any necessary sacrifices to just hang in there for the long run and success.
Owner, Integrity Communications
As a young child, I related to my dad’s bashfulness. When companies came over, young Anahid suddenly hid behind the Lazyboy chair!
Later in life, I discovered that I also possessed my dad’s ability to see opportunity and potential when there seemingly was none, to develop businesses and guide people with expertise and respect, and always to show kindness. I also took after my mom, as I developed an outgoing personality and a vibrant energy.
So, for me, self-confidence has partly been discovering the strengths that I was blessed with, and then going forward, day-by-day, moment-by-moment, using those strengths and impacting people for the good.
Project Coordinator, Vocal Coach
Self confidence can take you anywhere.
The best example for me was during what we Music majors call a "Jury" — basically, it is a private performance of material learned (for me a vocal repertoire) in front of the faculty. The terrifying part about it is that it counts for a good 40% of your grade!
During my Sophomore year, I had my Jury. I was singing "Amarilli", a traditional Italian aria. During the second verse, I forgot the words. Completely blanked — I couldn’t remember the English, let alone the Italian, and I almost panicked. Instead — trying to find my place — I sang (no words, just sound!) the melody that I knew by heart.
I finally found my place and finished the piece. In the end? The faculty gave me a good grade and commended my ability to keep my cool and work it out — basically my self confidence!
Executive Resumes and Coaching for Executive Professionals
Self confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared out of your wits. Your perception of yourself has an enormous impact on how others perceive you. Perception is reality — the more self confidence you have, the more likely it is you’ll succeed.
Owner, Notorious4 – Full Service Creative
I was set up and betrayed by my closest friends just days before September 11. I lost my job and my industry was frozen. Staring at a wall of American flags strewn above I-95 I realized that some things in life were more important and I had nothing to be sad about. In a time of heroes, I decided to become my own. I dusted myself off and would not give bad people the satisfaction of seeing me fail. Sink or swim, I was going on my own. I became Notorious4 not giving up.
Enterpreuner, Business Developer
Self Confidence is when you do not feel the need to prove that you are the smartest person in the room.
Self confidence is when you keep on going against all odds even when everyone is telling you that it cannot be done.
Self Confidence is when you can accept failure as a learning opportunity and move on.
Self confidence is accepting your role in a team rather than trying to be the leader.
Seiser Institute of IdentityTherapy,
I can only do what I believe I can do. The mind stops the energy.
It’s "the little train that could" ideology.
Electrical and Computer Engineer.
Self confidence is to keep pushing when everybody around tells you it isn’t going to work.
Self confidence is reaching out for help, asking for answers to questions that intrigue you.
Self confidence is blogging. You might get flamed, but you still write your thoughts.
And for job seekers like me, self confidence is just doing your best, preparing well, contacting companies and then leaving it up to them to hire you 
. It is understanding that you have little control over the economy, your interviewer, matches in the industry and for that matter, anything except yourself.
Owner, www.WaterCoolersDirect.com
Self confidence is at the root of business success at my company Water Coolers Direct.com Limited. Since its early beginnings, operating from a converted loft in
Business Development Manager/ Entrepreneurial Agitator [michael.calma@gmail.com]
To me, self-confidence is all about sincere, full and unconditional acceptance of who you are and how you could provide value to the people around you.
During some of the lowest points in my life, self-confidence is the only thing that got me going.
Another thing I observed about self-confidence is that it is contagious. Confident people give out an aura of confidence to the people they work with.
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Heh Zale!
You always ask the most thought provoking questions I decided to share them with my Active rain blogging network today! http://activerain.com/blogsview/400781/Are-you-Linked-in
Maybe you will have a few more hits!? Enjoyed it. Doris